The Upside of Procrastination.

Woman having coffee

I’m a risk taker, always have been. I’ll dive off the board and figure it out as I go down (with a parachute tucked away as Plan B of course!)

I thrive on the rush of possibility and challenge.

I’m programmed to take the road less travelled.

Most of the time it’s worked, but sometimes, it’s been a complete flop. And those times when it didn’t work, was when I was too hasty; didn’t listen to my gut, and ended up facing the consequences.

Can you relate?

Well this week’s topic is about the upside of procrastination, and how it can indeed be your intuition’s way of guiding you to be patient and wait for a better way of doing things.

Bet you didn’t think there’s an upside to procrastination did ya’?

Well, let me expand your perception for a bit with this scenario.

You’re about to make that move and sign that contract but you’ve got this weird feeling inside your gut.

You’ve prolonged making a decision about this move and now you’re just itching to get you’re ass in gear and make something happen.

You’ve discussed this decision with your partner and a few of your esteemed associates and they’ve encouraged you to take the leap, yet something is off, and just doesn’t feel right.

How do you know if you’re sabotaging yourself by not making a move, or if you’re being too hasty?

What do you do?

You listen to your heart, not the intelligence of your intellect.

Your heart is also known as your “gut brain” and it’s your power source. It often knows things beyond what we can see through our physical eyes.  You may not have the evidence in front of you to support your hesitation, and chronic procrastination for that matter, but your gut is telling you otherwise.

Sometimes, procrastination is a form of divine protection.

A heavenly, intervention of sorts that is guiding you to a more graceful way of doing things.

It’s whispering to you in the form of that nagging feeling that if you do this, the result is not going to pleasant.  But if you wait just a little while longer, a cosmically designed, scenario will reveal itself, and propel you above and beyond your expectations.

Because the Universe is a show-off, and thinks BIG. It loves to shower you with affection and make your life a whole lot easier, if we could just lean in and trust it a little more.

Conventional wisdom, based on facts and reality, is comforting for many because we can see the evidence being supported in front of us.

But unconventional wisdom, which often appears elusive, risqué, or off the rocker, can make great waves while it’s execution is so precise and mind boggling in the most unorthodox fashion that it’s almost funny.

We often look back and connect the dots with these serendipitous events with awe and wonder, perplexed by how it came together – but it did.

Sometimes procrastinating and waiting just a little bit longer, is the Universe’s way of placing you in a holding pattern to recalibrate you in the right direction.

What if we used this higher form of heart-centered intelligence more often in our lives and trusted it’s methods with rock solid faith?

I believe that things would come together more effortlessly, with peace of mind.

I’ve found in my own life that when I’ve pushed against the tide, I’ve only attracted more resistance, more obstacles, more struggle, and definitely more stress.

Yet the times that I just backed away and listened to my gut, I felt a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders although it felt that like a temporary, disappointment.

And wanna know something?

9 times out of 10 something better came along that far surpassed my expectations to my delight.

Here are 3 TIPS so you can tell if procrastinating is one of your lovely, self sabotaging tactics, or actually an intuitive signal to back off and wait:

1)    Does making this decision feel expansive or restrictive?

Stop over thinking the decision for a moment and pay attention to how it makes you feel.  Get real still, listen to your body.  Do you feel tight, anxious or fearful?  Or, do you feel excited, invigorated or expansive?  There’s a big difference.

2)   Have a conversation with your fear of moving forward.

Fear often feels restricted and limited, like something’s missing, like you’re being short changed or limited in some way but you just can’t put your finger on it. If you’re feeling excited, you feel like you’re progressing, expanding your boundaries but you also feel at ease within your spirit without a doubt.  Trust that feeling, it’s telling you that it’s a good move.

3)   Is this move in line with your core values?

The reason why I refer to core values, is that it must be used as a compass from which we make all of our decisions. When we adhere to the things that we deem sacred, we feel more at peace and at ease with our decisions in life.  Conversely, when we do things that are not aligned with our highest truth, it often backfires.

Final thought:  The more in tune we are with the core of our being, is the more clarity we will have in making effective decisions.

Now, over to you. Can you think of a time in your life where you procrastinated to the hilt, only to be revealed a better strategy at a later date?

Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of the community on the blog and I’ll be sure to reply.

With love,

Abby xo

 

 

 

I’ve got a confession, I fell off the wagon for a bit.

Woman in bed

I’ve got a heartfelt confession to make.  Last week, I totally lost it, and fell off the wagon.

So many great things were happening all at once to be thankful for and then the ultimate disappointment and wanna know what?

For just one moment, all of the spiritual stuff I talk about, and aim to live by, got thrown out the door and I resorted back to my old, egocentric patterns. There I said it.

Can you relate?

C’mon now, we’ve ALL been there.

This unexpected event kicked the wind out of me and to be honest, I can handle A LOT.

It’s interesting that it occurred when I was on a winning streak, ya’ know, when you’re feeling good, radiant, peaceful, productive, in the flow.

Well, it got intercepted. Big time!

And my emotions got the better of me. I got caught off guard and it threw me off my game for at least 3 days.

My regimented daily meditation, my spiritual practice that gives me so much peace, bliss, and clarity got thrown to the wayside.  My wounded self reared it’s head again, just when I thought that I was beginning to make progress.

I took two days for a pity party, vented my frustration with a few of my die-hard friends, got re-energized and then took a step back and observed myself while I was reacting, looked in the mirror, and realized that I am still a work in progress. And that’s okay.

With deadlines to meet, I dug real deep and found the inner strength to plough through, despite this disturbance.

I gave myself a pat on the back and affirmed to myself that I have feelings and it’s okay to be sad, hurt or angry sometimes, that we must embrace all of who we are, even if it’s the ego part of you that’s hurt, and not your higher, true self.

I started feeling a grievance settling as it festered and I replayed the event in my mind. I was betrayed by a dear friend.

The divine lesson of discernment kept coming up again and again, something that I’ve been trying to master on my journey since I was a child. I tend to zoom in on the beauty and good in others with a full heart, even when there’s red flags.

I am driven by love, and made to love, what can I say?

I judged myself, as my intuition truth be known, warned me of this and gave me a nudge a few days prior, plus I had a few, nagging, gut feelings that something wasn’t right and that I refused to see or accept.

“I’m way too busy right now, things are great,” I said to myself, “focus on the positive Abby and let it go.”

But the truth always comes to light, and it was going to be revealed, whether it was convenient or not.

All of a sudden, the forgiveness card kept coming up and I was forced to practice what I preach, walk my talk, and forgive the grievance, quickly, send them love, so as to free myself from carrying the weight, and wish the person well, as all is one.

I share this with you all to let you know that we’re all in this together and that it’s okay to have moments of frustration, sadness or anger.

We must express and observe these feelings and thoughts and not push them away, as they are often triggers to reveal that we are just out of harmony.

Truth be known, the path inward is like peeling an onion, and just when you think you’ve mastered a part of yourself, an event happens that triggers even deeper wounds or shines a light on divine lessons to be grasped – yet again.

But with each step along the way, we become stronger and more wiser, the light gets bigger.

And before you know it, you fall back into the flow of grace, joy and ease, knowing that the only moment that really matters or that truly exists, is the present moment.

And that in and of itself is a gift to be cherished and seized.

You realize that it’s okay to fall off the wagon of life occasionally and fail your way to a deeper, understanding of yourself.

For you are a human being, finding your way back home.

Now over to you:  Does this post resonate with your heart?  And, if so, what do you typically do to find your flow again?

OR, need advice?

Please feel free to share your heartfelt comments on the blog with the rest of the community and I’ll be sure to reply.

With love,

Abby xo

 

Redefining what true love really means.

A woman who loves herself

Relationships are always a touchy topic for many, that often evoke a lot of emotions in people. That’s why I’m not a relationship coach, for the record.

I know how to stick in my lane and offer guidance to my clients on how to discover their truth and subsequently live from that space wholeheartedly.

I’ve avoided discussing this topic because although the concept of True Love is simple, for many we make it quite complex as we take our baggage, past pain, perceptions, expectations and all of our junk into relationships with us.We hope that our partners will just shut up and put up with our issues.

Let’s face it, everyone wants love.

To be loved by another is a wonderful feeling, yet we go in with all of these grandiose expectations and conditions, with a secret, unconscious agenda to be served, rather than to serve.

And love, the fearless, unbridled kind, is exhibited in the selfless action of giving or the being and doing, while receiving follows suit inevitably, as giving and receiving are one.

This unbalanced, perception of taking rather than giving causes a lot of resentment in romantic relationships, as one always gets the short end of the stick and ends up being pissed off, hurt, and unhappy.

And the one being served throws a tantrum and seeks to be desired elsewhere when they’re needs aren’t being met.

Yet the real reason why relationships fall apart and miss the point altogether of what the meaning of True Love is to begin with, is that we are seeking the love outside of us, instead of acknowledging that it is already within us – We are Love.

The Course in Miracles describes this illusory, perception as being based on a scarcity principle that we believe that we are not enough, and so we seek this love outwardly to feel complete.However, this never really works, it just gives us temporary bouts of happiness, ecstacy, and joy when our partner meets our needs.

Note I mentioned meets our needs.

Cause let’s be real for a moment, it’s nice to be desired and doted on, right!?

And it’s interesting that gallon lovers and takers tend to find each other magnetically which often leads to heartbreak hotel.  As the gallon lover “over” gives to compensate for the lack of love within, and the taker keeps “taking” and not giving because they feel that they are not complete without the love of another.

This scenario is so prevalent in our society that it can be broken down to a science.

So where do we go from here and how do we move past heartbreak and disappointment, and believe in love again?

My answer, we start loving ourselves internally and getting to know our own heart.

And what does that mean specifically?

It means to discover, acknowledge and receive the divine love that is within us, so that we can feel whole, experience what true love is, and then we will be more in a position to be this love in our relationships.

All of this may sound philosophical in theory, but I’m about to give you 3 practical, questions to ask yourself to determine your own perception when it comes to what love really means to you:

1)  Ask yourself what do you bring to the table? (Be honest here, even if it hurts!)

This may feel a little uncomfortable but really ask yourself this question.  And it’s purpose is not to judge ourselves by highlighting inadequacies. I’ve found that we often expect to be treated a certain way or to be served yet we never really look at our own service offering in the matters of love. For example, is what you’re asking from your partner what you in fact give to yourself?  If not, then this will reveal the parts of you that needs to be healed and made whole, so that you can bring your best self to a relationship.

2)  Do you see yourself as loveable?

In order to truly love another, we must first see ourselves as loveable.  If we are constantly putting ourselves down and criticizing ourselves internally, then we are not coming from a whole place to give love to our partner. This also begins an unhealthy, dependency on your partner to “prove” their love to you constantly while it appears to never be enough and this causes a lot of resentment in the relationship.

3)  The question is not how the person makes you feel, it’s how you make yourself feel.

I’ve heard many comments from people that they love their partner because of the way they make them feel about themselves, but that’s not really love. That’s a business transaction and a fix that keeps being refilled outwardly by another person until the person is depleted and cannot give anymore. To allow someone to have that much power over your self worth  is a recipe for heartache when things change, and they will as we evolve and grow.

When we look in the mirror and answer these questions honestly, we begin a journey inward into knowing our own heart so that we can bring our very best to our relationships and be love incarnate.

Now over to you: What are some of your beliefs on the meaning of true love?  I’d love to hear from you!

OR, need advice?

Do share your heartfelt thoughts and comments on the topic with the rest of the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to reply.

Always remember that you are loveable and that you must see it and believe it in your spirit first before you can be that love to someone else.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

All for love,

Abby xo

 

 

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