Today I’d like to talk about a topic that is rather, well, “Cringeworthy”; our need to tell “White Lies”. I’m talking about exaggerations, half truths, excuses, Yes I’m going there, the whole gamut.
Come on now, we ALL do it from time to time. You know, like the time you bailed out on a comittment you made with a friend and told him/her that you had a “prior engagement”, but really, you wanted to curl up with your partner and watch Netflix all night.
Or how about that party invitation, you really didn’t feel up to it nor were you in the mood for socializing, but you decline with the excuse that your Mother in law will be coming over for dinner.
LIAR, LIAR, pants on fire.
So now the million dollar question is, why do we feel the urge to lie? I’ve asked myself this question and this is what came up.
I’m going deep for a moment, so stay with me…
A lack of truth telling has more to do with Egocentricity and I don’t mean in a narcissistic, kinda’ way. I mean it’s more of a defense mechanism to protect the false persona or illusory identity that we present to the world. You see, in every interaction with another, we get a “Bang for our buck”.
And so, when we lie it’s a plea for power, outwardly.
(I know, that’s a mouth full of psycho, babble stuff, but I want you to marinate on that for a moment in your Mind).
Here’s what the Course in Miracles has to say on the matter:
“If you can’t say no to the requests of others, then you haven’t yet overcome egocentricity. You’re making it real.”
So in other words, our urge to lie, feeds the illusion of power and acceptance we get from remaining in the “good” books of the person we’re lying to, while we are hurting ourselves in the process, by not honoring how we really feel, or who we “Really Are”.
For example, examine how you feel when you’re about to tell a white lie. Notice how anxious you become, notice how slowly you start to feel heavy and weakened. Then ask yourself why you feel the need to not tell the truth. You’ll find that your resistance to being honest has more to do with an underlying, need for acceptance, rooted in Fear.
Fear of rocking the boat with the other person, fear of being judged and not liked, and the fear of being rejected.
And so I’ve come to the conclusion, that when we give into these fears, we give our power away to the fear. While when we speak the truth, we operate in the space of our Higher selves, we are operating in love, love for self and love for others.
And love is the highest, vibrational, frequency. Love energizes and illuminates, fear debilitates and weakens. Love expands the light within you, while fear expands the darkness.
And so the next time you feel compelled to tell a white lie, remind yourself that it is safe to be you by speaking your truth and this will empower you.
Believe it or not, the world longs for truthfulness. It keeps us connected and humanizes us, it preserves our innocence and vulnerability in a world that so desperately, needs the light.
That light is you in this instance, the light that will liberate the world from it’s fears.
It’s a tough assignment to be the light, but are you willing?
The world awaits your presence.
Now your turn. Does this topic resonate with you in any way in all of it’s “Awkwardness”?
Can you relate? OR, Need Advice?
I’d love to hear from you!
Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts in the Comment box of the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.
Here’s a scenario for you.
So your boss pulls you into their office and says “look, I’ve got a project that I would like you to work on. I know it’s outside of your area of expertise, but I really could use the extra help on this since you’ve proven yourself sooo reliable.”
Your reply is, “But of course, anything to help the company reach it’s objectives, happy to be of service.”
Ya right! Here’s what’s really going on in your mind.
“Arghhh, crap! This is totally outside of my job description, I’m swamped already, man this sucks!” (Eye roll).
Sound familiar? I’m sure it does.
Lo and behold, the very task you’ve been given is an opportunity in disguise to discover a hidden talent within that you didn’t even know existed. The very talent, that will earn the praise of your peers and colleagues, AND, get you that promotion that you’ve been longing for.
Oh wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all had a crystal ball in front of us, but in real life, the Universe gives us clues about who we “Really Are”, and then leaves us with the job of figuring it out ourselves. Lovely, isn’t it?
As we evolve and expand into the person we are meant to be, I’ve found that there’s always an element of surprise. And the irony of it all is, sometimes we achieve the most success in an area that is entirely, different from our career goals.
I believe that when we label ourselves as a “blah, blah, blah”, we create limitations in our mind as to what we’re capable of, while we block our limitless, potential from emerging.
Now I’m not suggesting that you walk around at work chanting “I’m expanding and evolving with the Universe”, because people are going to think you’re a straight up Nutbag.
No, that’s not what I mean at all. What I mean is, walk with a Yes energy at work and remain open to possibility. Try your best not to turn your nose up at tasks that are outside of your job description, because you just never know where it’s going to lead you OR, activate within you.
Sometimes we become sooo rigid about who we are, to the point that we are blinded to amazing opportunities before us. My humble suggestion, keep people guessing, keep yourself guessing; over deliver.
If you’re an accountant by trade, try taking an art class. If you’re a tech whiz that loves code, why not try some graphic design. If you love cars and you’re a mechanic, take a pottery class.
Catch my drift, stay open and by doing so, you open yourself up to self discovery, and endless possibilities before you.
Please note that I’m not in any way suggesting that you become a “Jack of all trades”, master at none. I’m merely implying that you could have some amazing, hidden talent, within you that is yearning to be unleashed and expressed, but you won’t discover them if you remain so rigid.
You’d be amazed at what you’ll learn about yourself if you let your hair down a little.
Your golden opportunity awaits.
Now over to you. Is there some hidden talent, that you’d like to come out of the closet with, longing to be expressed?
If so, what’s holding you back with sharing it with the world?
OR, Need Advice?
I’d love to hear from you!
And so the next time an opportunity comes around and you find yourself doubting your capabilities, say Yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
Life is a joy and it can also be totally, unpredictable.
We just never know when good ole’ Murphy is gonna show up on your door step to greet you. Or, what kinda’ tricks that Mercury retrograde has up it’s sleeves this time around. (P.S. I’m starting to believe that there may actually be some relevancy to the effects of the Supermoon, lunar eclipse, stuff after all).
Take myself for example, after having an uber, productive, month with some stuff I’ve been working on, before I could even open the proverbial, bottle of champagne to celebrate, whadya’ know, my car decides to seize…..Sweet!
And I assure you, that I’ve been in great spirits.
Here’s the thing, no matter how positive of a person you are, no matter how diligent of a person you are with your efforts, “Stuff happens”. And it happens, because you’re actually taking action and doing something.
Oh yes, the “weeds” will grow together with the “harvest” – do not be disillusioned.
And then you have a choice. Are you gonna freak out when it happens?
Or, are you going to remain cool and know that this too shall pass. I choose the latter. It wasn’t always that way I might add as the Old me would have had a conniption. The New me however, knows, that it’s just a minor, setback in the grander, scheme of things and that nothing’s really changed.
I share this with you all to encourage you to keep your thoughts up, regardless, of whatever setbacks that you face – it’s only temporary.
You see, our normal inclination when the “unexpected” occurs is to judge ourselves or the event and fall deeper and deeper into an abyss of Self Pity. Yet the truth of the matter is, what if everything is already in perfect, divine order as IS?
I love this quote by Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, author of the Power of Now:
“Just as the dog loves to chew bones, the human mind loves it’s problems.”
We most certainly do Eckhart, and really, we love our problems because on a deeper, level, like A Course in Miracles teaches, we perpetuate our suffering to justify the guilt we feel of separation. (More on that another time).
Wanna know something?
Solutions emerge when we’re fixated on the light, not when we’re in the pit of wallowing in the problem.
And the truth of the matter is, we’re just pissed off because things aren’t going our way as planned. Now I’m not saying that accepting what IS, is the easiest, thing to do, but certainly worth considering for the love of peace of Mind.
I mean, why get ourselves in a caflouffal, and resist the reality of the moment!?
And so, I’d like to leave you with an affirmation by A Course in Miracles where it states:
“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
Let this become a daily mantra, so that you may fall into the flow of the natural, order of things and allow grace to invade your life.
Now over to you. Can you relate to this?
How are you going to choose to react more positively to your setbacks? Do share some of your unique, “bounce back” mechanisms with the rest of us.
OR, Need Advice?
I’d love to hear from you!
Cheers to more flow and less stress.
Be in Grace.