So we’re approaching a New Year once again, and I’ve got an exercise for you.
A soul stirring one that you can use as a guiding principle in making decisions and goals for your life. The intention, to stimulate an internal revolution within you, so that you can examine who’s calling the shots in your life unconsciously i.e. your small self, or your Higher self, ultimately leading you to a more fulfilling, experience overall.
So before you whip out your Moleskin journal and start mapping out your plans and goals for 2015, I’d like you to have an honest conversation with yourself by answering the following questions. (Warning! The answers to these questions, may begin to shatter some illusions that you’ve been carrying unconsciously and lead you on the path to liberation).
1) What grievances are you holding onto?
Forgiveness is a daily practice for oneself and for others. When we let go of grievances, we fall back into the flow of grace. Conversely, when we harbour resentment, judgment, bitterness, grudges and unforgiveness in our hearts, it can manifest itself in the form of obstacles and some really, challenging situations that can totally derail us and make us miserable. Forgiveness frees our minds and creates space for more good to flow to us. Having said that, we can map out a tonne of grandiose goals and plans, but the reality is that if we don’t have the space to receive them, we simply will not attain them.
2) That Career path, project, relationship, business venture, partnership, friendship etc, how does it make you feel?
Although our lives may be multi-faceted, there still remains a common thread that dictates the quality of our lives – how we stand emotionally. For example, does your current career feel like a drag? Or does it invigorate you and feel expansive? That relationship that you’re in, is it open hearted and light? Do you feel free to be you completely, or does it make you feel constricted, distrustful or anxious? The answers to these questions can shed some insight in terms of what’s working and what’s not.
3) Who are you rolling with?
Name the 5 people that you’re closest with. The people that you spend the most time with, ALL mirror various aspects of yourself because we are divinely linked and this will affect the quality of your life. By embracing this truth, we become the observer of ourselves on where we’re at in our personal growth. Thus there is no need for blame, judgment or finger pointing required, because we have allowed these people into our lives unconsciously as they resonate with us vibrationally. Now think about the path that you are on. Are these people in any way, contributing or lifting you higher to your true potential? If the answer is yes, that’s Great! If not, time for a reorg.
4) What are you tolerating in your life that is making you resentful?
Now this is a toughy because a lot of us have the propensity to be “too nice” and tolerate a load of crap. I’ve found that the “disease to please”, or allowing people to drain you, only hurts you in the end. Self love requires us to say NO to what doesn’t feel right or honor our internal value system, ultimately leading us to living a more, authentic, empowered life.
5) What areas of your life do you require more Discipline?
Admittedly, I’ve had a love/hate relationship in this department, but I’ve discovered that Discipline is a savior. Here’s the bottom line, it doesn’t matter how much we hypothesize, philosophize or theorize for that matter, nothing happens until we take action. Movement creates magic while it’s soul affirming, intentional and faith driven. Faith without works quite frankly, is dead while discipline shows commitment.
6) What are 3 common Distractions that take you away from being Engaged, Awake and Present in the moment?
We live in a rather noisy, convoluted, illusory world where Social media reigns supreme and texting has become the norm for communication. On one hand it keeps us connected, but on the other hand it can really become a distraction and put a damper on building, meaningful relationships and savoring precious moments and miracles unfolding right before us. By managing the amount of time we spend on Social media, we get back into the game of actually living a life, rather than hiding behind a computer screen or a mobile device.
7) What areas of your life are you committed to enhancing?
You can’t have one foot in the circle and one out, nor skim around the surface of the person that you want to be and expect a real shift in your life. You have to dive in fully and play full out. Inconsistency just won’t cut it and is a cousin of non-commitment that shows that we’re not really into what we’re doing. By demonstrating, consistent action, we send a signal out to the Universe that we are ready to expand into the fullness of who we “Really Are.”
With all of the excitement about entering a brand New Year, filled with endless possibility, until we are prepared to dig deep within ourselves and have these tough, conversations, change will elude us. Facing our truth is what liberates and frees us from repetitive patterns that are holding us back.
Are you willing and courageous enough to turn inward and heal your inner world? Are you willing to face your truth and let go of old, habits that are no longer serving you?
If so, a brand New You awaits!
Now your turn. I’d love to hear about what you’re up to or excited about going into 2015.
OR, Need Advice?
Do share your heartfelt thoughts and Comments with the rest of the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.
I love what Spiritual Teacher, Ram Dass has to say on the matter of family, “If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family.” Can I get an amen?
Oh yes, the holiday season is filled with whimsical splendor, warmth and laughter, but can also trigger old, emotional wounds that resurface right at the dinner table. Have I spoiled your appetite?
Family relationships can be our greatest teachers and can be used as a barometre to test our personal growth. You know like that distant, cousin of yours that lives in an 80′s time machine who just loves to remind you of your rebellious days and uses you’re not so finest of moments as a conversation piece with the family.
Or how about that lovely sister-in-law of yours that constantly grills you about why you’re not married, why you don’t have any kids, and talks to you pretty much like you’re an alien.
Oh yes, it can be a rather fun-filled, button-pushing kinda holiday, pulling you right back to old memories while stunting your growth if you’re not armed with love, forgiveness, and oodles of grace.
So what do you do when the family member that you love so dearly blurts out something totally ludicrous while you feel the steam rising to the surface?
Here are 5 Golden Nuggets of Wisdom on how to arm yourself, and not lose you’re cool while you’re at it:
1) Allow people to be who they are, and I mean, completely.
Grrrr….I know you’re not really liking this but hear me out because it’s one of the wisest things that you could possibly do for yourself. Acknowledge that this person is on their own path, having their own experience. It doesn’t, in any way, have to match yours, nor should it affect you in any way. Give them the full forum to express themselves without restriction, and you’ll be amazed on how freeing this will be for both individuals.
2) Our job is not to fix people, it’s to love them.
We are often compelled to fix someone when they say or do something that is not in keeping with the way we like things to be. Sometimes we don’t realize that it’s simply not our job. Our job is to simply love them for who they are, even if they are annoying. No one enjoys being evaluated, and one of the best gifts that we can give someone is acceptance.
3) Preserve your peace by putting a lid on it.
Sometimes it’s just best to put a lid on it and not say anything at all. Yes, silence is golden. Wisdom is knowing that there is a time and a place, and not every idiotic remark, requires a rapid-fire response. A reaction riddled with anger only adds to the fire of the situation and completely robs you of your power and your peace.
4) Refrain from taking things so personally.
When judgments are made, sometimes we become over sensitive and take ourselves wayyy too seriously. By learning to not take things so personally, we make it less about us and shift the attention on what’s really important – a moment to enjoy the holidays with our loved ones.
5) Humour; yes, lots of it.
Be silly, please. Laughter is contagious. No one enjoys being around an uptight, party-pooper. Be engaging, pull out a joke or two. A good belly laugh can heal a multitude of ills and become one heck of a peace treaty. Smile, allow yourself to have fun, and savour the moment.
Let this be your guide my friends, and you’ll thrive (not just survive) the holiday season, promise.
Now over to you. Got any techniques that you’d like to share with the rest of us on how to squash family conflict with grace over the holiday season?
OR, Need Advice?
Do share your heartfelt thoughts and Comments with the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.
As always, I’d love to hear from you!
Peace & Happy Holidays!
That person that you can’t stand, you love them, you just haven’t realized it yet. The person who broke your heart, you love them, you just haven’t realized it yet. The person who differs from your political or religious beliefs, you love them, you just haven’t realized it yet. The person of different ethnicity, you love them, you just haven’t realized it yet.
You have forgotten your divinity, that’s all, a distant memory of who you were in eternity before you entered the world.
Every so often you catch a glimpse of your True Identity when your heart chakra opens up, where the love just pours out of you, fearlessly, unbridled, free without restrictions and it feels so light, so familiar, so natural and so pure.
But then your mind kicks in, analyzes, dissects and judges the feeling that you have to justify the worldly identity you’ve created for yourself (thoughts gone wild at it’s finest) with the intention to prove others wrong and your right to validate your suspicions. And so the feeling of love slowly dissipates, barriers are formed as you separate yourself from the pack while your heart closes up.
Lost between time and space, you’ve now strayed so far away from your inner truth that the only thing best to do is to enforce your personal conditions, voice your demands, and criticize your external world and everyone in it. Life has become hard and so you tell yourself that it must have something to do with the people, circumstances, the weather, the powers that be, or societal structure (at least your outer perception tells you that). Yet you ignore your own heart, the temple within that whispers the truth about who you “Really Are”.
Can you remember your divinity? Do you remember that you were born to love not to fear?
Born to be expressive, not repressed; born to be free, not imprisoned. All the while being part of one divine mind, one divine heart that moves in harmony with one another designed with a higher purpose in mind.
And yet beneath all of the ever-expanding change, and injustice, that occurs in the illusory world that we live in, there is another world that remains constant and true; absolute, in fact, realistic, and founded on Love, the very divine entity that dwells within each and every one of us.
And the beauty of it all, is this Supreme Light has never forgotten us, and longs for our memory to be restored as we return home to our True Nature.
And so my question to you is, can you allow yourself to feel more than think? Can you allow yourself to be the Love that you truly are? Are you brave enough to check your ego at the door and follow your heart?
Will you allow love to lead the way?
If so, your freedom awaits.
All for love,