People don’t just hook up…

Mirror image

Ahhh, we’ve heard it time and time again that you become like the 5 people you’re closest with.  So true, yet sometimes we have to get hit hard over the head to actually “Get it”.

Take myself for example “Queen” of the underdog.  In fact, as early as I could remember I had a clear case of the “Stray Cat” syndrome.  And really, it’s because I endured struggle as a child which helped mold me into an incredibly, compassionate person.  In fact, I still am and will always choose to see the good in others.

However, there are some in life, that no matter how many times you “Bail them out”, lend a helping hand, an ear, a shoulder to cry on, a cup of sugar, they just keep coming back for more and more until you feel completely drained AND out of sugar; so not cool.  Then the finger pointing begins and we start to blame them but it really starts with us.

Sound familiar? Oh ya!

Then there are the friends that you love dearly, but let’s just say that some of their “Choices”, just ain’t in line with some of your values, Eek!  And so it becomes uncomfortable to the point that you just can’t remain in their company without catching a whiff of whatever “Wisdom” their smoking.

And yet, we hang on for reasons like “But we’ve been friends for so long”, “But they helped me out when I was down and out”, “But they’re just going through a tough time in life”, etc, etc. remaining loyal to a fault and stunting our growth in the process.

Here’s the thing that I’ve discovered.

People don’t just hook up.  There is always a divine curriculm at hand teaching us about ourselves.

And so what it means, is that for whatever reason there is something about that person that reflects a part of yourself and that’s why you identify with them or get irritated by them.  It could be your “Shadow Self”, a repressed part of yourself, your childhood, something, you better believe it.

In fact, everyone we meet is a mirror of ourselves in some way or another whether we choose to accept it or not.  Yet we are so quick to dismiss and point the finger at people, without taking any responsibility nor doing any self reflection of any sort.

Take myself for example, I discovered that I had a “Rescue”, “Mrs. Fix it” tendency that I formed from the wounded, part of myself.  Essentially I told myself that my role was to rescue people so that I could feel wanted and accepted.

Yup! That’s what I realized after deeper, self reflection.  And when it became clear to me that I had formed an Illusion in my mind, I was able to forgive myself and set it free.  And so now when I help someone, it is coming from a more genuine place without any expectation of any sort.

Now I’m not saying that you must remain in the company of people that are not contributing to your growth, what I’m simply implying is that we must take a more empowered stance and look within before we point the finger at others.  Because the truth of the matter is, that we attract “Who We Are”.  Thus anyone that comes into your zone in some way reflects a part of yourself.

I believe that when we take responsibility for what we allow into our experience, we are able to heal ourselves by observing our experiences as a lesson for us to turn inward.

Thus we become the observer of our lives, allow our True Self to emerge and live a more empowered life.

As always, I’d love to hear from you!

Can you relate to this in any way?  Is there someone in your life that annoys the heck out of you but just can’t seem to let go of them?

Please feel free to leave your heartfelt thoughts and feelings about it in the Comment box of the blog below and I’ll be sure to Reply.

Much love,

Abby xo

 

Truth telling. A practice of self love, worth developing…

Woman on the phone

Today I’d like to talk about a topic that is rather, well, “Cringeworthy”; our need to tell “White Lies”.  I’m talking about exaggerations, half truths, excuses, Yes I’m going there, the whole gamut.

Come on now, we ALL do it from time to time.  You know, like the time you bailed out on a comittment you made with a friend and told him/her that you had a “prior engagement”, but really, you wanted to curl up with your partner and watch Netflix all night.

Or how about that party invitation, you really didn’t feel up to it nor were you in the mood for socializing, but you decline with the excuse that your Mother in law will be coming over for dinner.

LIAR, LIAR, pants on fire. ;)

So now the million dollar question is, why do we feel the urge to lie?  I’ve asked myself this question and this is what came up.

I’m going deep for a moment, so stay with me…

A lack of truth telling has more to do with Egocentricity and I don’t mean in a narcissistic, kinda’ way.  I mean it’s more of a defense mechanism to protect the false persona or illusory identity that we present to the world.  You see, in every interaction with another, we get a “Bang for our buck”.

And so, when we lie it’s a plea for power, outwardly.

(I know, that’s a mouth full of psycho, babble stuff, but I want you to marinate on that for a moment in your Mind).

Here’s what the Course in Miracles has to say on the matter:

“If you can’t say no to the requests of others, then you haven’t yet overcome egocentricity. You’re making it real.”

So in other words, our urge to lie, feeds the illusion of power and acceptance we get from remaining in the “good” books of the person we’re lying to, while we are hurting ourselves in the process, by not honoring how we really feel, or who we “Really Are”.

For example, examine how you feel when you’re about to tell a white lie.  Notice how anxious you become, notice how slowly you start to feel heavy and weakened.  Then ask yourself why you feel the need to not tell the truth.  You’ll find that your resistance to being honest has more to do with an underlying, need for acceptance, rooted in Fear.

Fear of rocking the boat with the other person, fear of being judged and not liked, and the fear of being rejected.

And so I’ve come to the conclusion, that when we give into these fears, we give our power away to the fear.  While when we speak the truth, we operate in the space of our Higher selves, we are operating in love, love for self and love for others.

And love is the highest, vibrational, frequency.  Love energizes and illuminates, fear debilitates and weakens.  Love expands the light within you, while fear expands the darkness.

And so the next time you feel compelled to tell a white lie, remind yourself that it is safe to be you by speaking your truth and this will empower you.

Believe it or not, the world longs for truthfulness.  It keeps us connected and humanizes us, it preserves our innocence and vulnerability in a world that so desperately, needs the light.

That light is you in this instance, the light that will liberate the world from it’s fears.

It’s a tough assignment to be the light, but are you willing?

The world awaits your presence.

Now your turn.  Does this topic resonate with you in any way in all of it’s “Awkwardness”? 

Can you relate?  OR, Need Advice?

I’d love to hear from you!

Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts in the Comment box of the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.

With love,

Abby xo

 

 

Labels limit potential. Stay open…

Dazzled

Here’s a scenario for you.

So your boss pulls you into their office and says “look, I’ve got a project that I would like you to work on.  I know it’s outside of your area of expertise, but I really could use the extra help on this since you’ve proven yourself sooo reliable.”

Your reply is, “But of course, anything to help the company reach it’s objectives, happy to be of service.”

Ya right!  Here’s what’s really going on in your mind.

“Arghhh, crap! This is totally outside of my job description, I’m swamped already, man this sucks!” (Eye roll).

Sound familiar? I’m sure it does.

Lo and behold, the very task you’ve been given is an opportunity in disguise to discover a hidden talent within that you didn’t even know existed.  The very talent, that will earn the praise of your peers and colleagues, AND, get you that promotion that you’ve been longing for.

Oh wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all had a crystal ball in front of us, but in real life, the Universe gives us clues about who we “Really Are”, and then leaves us with the job of figuring it out ourselves.  Lovely, isn’t it?

As we evolve and expand into the person we are meant to be, I’ve found that there’s always an element of surprise.  And the irony of it all is, sometimes we achieve the most success in an area that is entirely, different from our career goals.

I believe that when we label ourselves as a “blah, blah, blah”, we create limitations in our mind as to what we’re capable of, while we block our limitless, potential from emerging.

Now I’m not suggesting that you walk around at work chanting “I’m expanding and evolving with the Universe”, because people are going to think you’re a straight up Nutbag.

No, that’s not what I mean at all.  What I mean is, walk with a Yes energy at work and remain open to possibility.  Try your best not to turn your nose up at tasks that are outside of your job description, because you just never know where it’s going to lead you OR, activate within you.

Sometimes we become sooo rigid about who we are, to the point that we are blinded to amazing opportunities before us.  My humble suggestion, keep people guessing, keep yourself guessing; over deliver.

If you’re an accountant by trade, try taking an art class.  If you’re a tech whiz that loves code, why not try some graphic design.  If you love cars and you’re a mechanic, take a pottery class.

Catch my drift, stay open and by doing so, you open yourself up to self discovery, and endless possibilities before you.

Please note that I’m not in any way suggesting that you become a “Jack of all trades”, master at none.  I’m merely implying that you could have some amazing, hidden talent, within you that is yearning to be unleashed and expressed, but you won’t discover them if you remain so rigid.

You’d be amazed at what you’ll learn about yourself if you let your hair down a little.

Your golden opportunity awaits. :)

Now over to you.  Is there some hidden talent, that you’d like to come out of the closet with, longing to be expressed?

If so, what’s holding you back with sharing it with the world?

OR, Need Advice?

I’d love to hear from you!

And so the next time an opportunity comes around and you find yourself doubting your capabilities, say Yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.

With love,

Abby xo

 

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