Patience. A virtue worth developing…

Solitude

Ok, so I must admit, I love Spring, Summer and Fall, but Winter, not so much.

And I’m sure if we all let our hair down, a lot of us would whine about winter.  Come on, you see it on the news all the time, you hear it in elevator conversations about how blisteringly cold it is outside, blah, blah, blahI mean that’s why people take off to Florida and don’t return back until the Spring.

Which led me to think about why we have the propensity to complain and not accept things for the way they are.  Why can’t we just embrace the weather, enjoy it, wait, and make the most out of it.

Winter for example, can indeed be a wonderful time of the year for bonding, hibernating, reflecting and even reprioritizing while we wait for the Spring to arrive.  In fact, I believe that winter can teach us a valuable lesson on patience, acceptance and the importance of waiting.

For instance, I have a list of a million things that I would like to accomplish in my life right now.  But you know what? It’s gonna happen when it’s gonna happen, whether I like it or not.

And so, I’m faced with two choices.  Either torment my mind with seething impatience, dictating how things should be, or say to heck with it, chill out and enjoy where I am in the present moment.

You see, what I’ve found is that acceptance really has a lot to do with surrender and trusting in the unfolding of things in divine timing.  The more we try to control “the how” things should be, is the more suffering we create internally by fighting the tide rather than ebbing and flowing with it.

And guess what?

You cannot overpower divine will or Mother Nature for that matter.  Don’t even try it because you’ll fail miserably.  Believe you me, I’ve tried it many times only to retreat to surrender with humility in tact.

I love what A Course in Miracles states, where it quotes:

“Those who are certain of the outcome, can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.”

Meaning, why not embrace the process as we would the varying seasons of nature with a sense of confidence that all is well.  Easier said than done I know, but an attitude worth having to avoid the wintery, blues.

You see, in life we tend to dictate our demands of how things should be instead of embracing things for what they are.  And so I say, why not embrace what IS, instead of resisting it?  Why not ease the pain of our impatience with acceptance, all in the name of peace of mind?

There is a process, a season, and a meaning for everything.  We don’t have to like it, but it’s just easier if we flow with it.

I choose to flow, are you with me? :)

Now over to you.  Is patience something that you struggle with?  And if so, how are you prepared to develop this lovely virtue?

OR, Need Advice?

Do share your heartfelt thoughts and Comments with the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.

As always, I’d love to hear from you!

With love,

Abby

Seek to understand, not to respond…

Friends talking

So your friend calls you up.  They’re going through a really, crappy, time.  They have a deep longing to be heard and understood, they long to be comforted, not corrected.

And so you open your heart and listen intently to their pain, fears, shame and their vulnerabilityYour mind then steps in and naturally analyzes their situation through the framework of how you would deal with the matter.  You open your mouth, share, correct, and now your friend is not really agreeing with your point of view and before you know it, an ever so subtle debate ensues, totally taking away the sacredness of it all – a moment to display compassion.

Now you’re left with your foot in your mouth and regrettably wish that you put a lid on it.

Here’s the thing.  It is a real art to be a good listener, while it’s an even greater task to keep your opinions to yourself.

I’ve learned that people who are hurting just want to be heard, accepted and consoled. They don’t want to be evaluated.

Sometimes your friend just wants to unfurl, and not receive any unsolicited advice.  They just want to be shown that someone actually cares and supports them.

The role of the comforter being you in this instance, is to remind them of their light, their beauty, and all that they have done right, not what they’ve done wrong.

I more recently read an article about a tribe in Africa, that gathers the offender in the middle of a circle, surrounded by the community.  Then each member of the village, reminds the person of all the good that they have done in their lives instead of judging or criticizing them for their mistakes.  What a powerful, ritual to remind a person of how loved they really are?

What would happen if we could shift our way of thinking from criticizing another for their mistakes to a place of compassion?

I believe miraculous healing would occur mutually for both individuals as we are all divinely linked.

You see, opinions separate us from one another.

It creates divisiveness and forms a barrier between each person and closes the heart.  I’ve found that many of us are more interested in sharing our thoughts, versus really getting to know or understand how a person truly feels.

Case in point, I actually observed myself automatically doing this at a Speaker’s Conference that I attended over the weekend.  The Speaker had us do an exercise, where 4 volunteers, myself included were brought up on the stage with the objective of creating a random story among us in the moment so that we could stay in the flow.

One person would start the story and then pass it on to the other person to continue with the theme they had chosen.  The interesting thing about it all, is each and everyone of us, totally ignored the theme that the person created, and chose an entirely different scenario.

When we realized how much we lived in our minds as opposed to staying in the moment and valuing what the person said, let’s just say that it was an “A-ha” moment of awareness for us all, including myself.

So here’s a final word of Advice…

The next time someone confides in you and shares their pain, seek to understand and not to respond. The ego will naturally want to defend it’s own beliefs.  Be contemplative, leave room to wonder, open your heart and your mind, as everyone you meet is a Guru.

Now over to you?  Has this ever happened to you before?

OR, Need Advice?

Do share your heartfelt thoughts and Comments with the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to Reply.

As always, I’d love to hear from you!

All love, 

Abby xo

 

 

Simplicity. The Solution to Inner Peace…

Woman overwhelmed

In an era where everything is supersized, googled, or upgraded, a decision can be the toughest thing to make when we are bombarded with a “gazillion” options.  Take myself for example, I finally made the switch from Blackberry to iPhone 5 earlier this year (much prefer the iPhone’s gorgeous, sleek, elegant form being the creative spirit that I am), and now there’s the iPhone 6, Seriously?  I guess you could say that I’m not the most technically digi-fied, hip person out there.

But I kinda’ wish things would slow down a little and not be so futuristic.

Yes we live in a rather noisy, fast and furious, convoluted world my friends, where extravagance and excess is glorified.  Go figure we’re in a global debt crisis.  We’ve grown accustomed to having our wants met “toute suite”, while ignoring our needs.  We’ve learned to drown out our inner voice and take heed to the advice of the Joneses.

What happened to good ole’ simplicity?

I’ve often asked myself this question, having awakened from my hypnotic trance of wanting and consumerism, to focus on what’s really important in life. Yes, less really is more.

I’ve discovered that simplicity is the solution to inner peace.

Pardon me for a moment, but I think we’ve got the whole abundance thing; highly distorted in the sense that we’ve led ourselves to believe that abundance has more to do with acquiring more “stuff” and going outside of ourselves, as opposed to being and feeling abundant within.

This illusory, belief, has resulted in a never-ending external chase with a lack of true, fulfillment, and inner peace. It’s also left a rather large dent in our pocket books while we’ve befriended stress and anxiety as the norm.

Really!?  How much stuff do we really need?

I more recently read an article on Facebook’s founder, Mark Zuckerberg about why he wears the same, grey T-shirt ALL the time.  And I gotta’ tell you, I love his response:

I really want to clear my life so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community.  I’m in this really lucky position where I get to wake up every day and help serve more than 1 billion people, and I feel like I’m not doing my job if I spend any of my energy on things that are silly or frivolous about my life, so that way I can dedicate all of my energy towards just building the best products and services.

What a guy, bravo Mark!

Not sure if many of us would be willing to go to that extreme but he sure does make a good point about putting “first things first and keeping the main thing, the main thing”.

Imagine how peaceful our lives would be without having to make a million decisions a day or if we learned to be more content? 

I believe that life would become more gracious, fluid and kind as we embraced our True Nature as opposed to constantly living in a state of scarcity, incompleteness and wanting.

Can you relate to this week’s topic in any way?  If so, what are you prepared to simplify in your life so as to live a more, peaceful, joyful, existence?

OR, Need Advice?

As always, I’d love to hear from you!

Do share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of us below on the Blog and I’ll be sure to Reply.

Cheers to inner peace!

All love,

Abby xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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