Healing The Disease To Please Syndrome.

disease to please

We toss the word authenticity around a lot nowadays, but what does authenticity really mean?

Authenticity is about honouring your personal truths; sometimes at the expense of pleasing others.

It’s being the same person in public and in private, and feeling comfortable voicing how you feel.

For example, if someone asks you out to dinner and you’re not really feeling it, instead of making excuses, why don’t you just tell them the truth, “I’m a little tired today, how about a rain check?”

Clear and transparent.
Honorable and loveable.

The most important thing of all is that you honour your personal truth and integrity.

While it’s completely natural to slip up at times, it’s good to be reminded of staying true to what you stand for in all situations.

The disease to please is quite common in our society.

But why do we feel the need to do this?

Could it be an underlying plea for approval and acceptance?

Between making a choice to be brutally honest with your friends, or sugar-coating your response so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings, it’s easier to make the choice to save their feelings.

Brutal honesty, when delivered harshly, can be received as cruel and insensitive, but I’d like to know why we have to cop out of saying it like it is nicely?

Deep down, people crave the need to assimilate. We allow ourselves to be uncomfortable in the name of not being perceived as a party-pooper, and slowly this becomes a habitual way of living.

The truth of the matter is though, you’re only giving people half truthsYou’re not really honouring how you feel, and on top of that, you’re not revealing who you really are.

Why do you wear these masks?

The need for connection and validation becomes so strong you learn to stifle and sacrifice your voice as a means to be accepted.

For the sake of being acknowledged and appreciated it’s easier to reveal just a teeny, weeny, bitty part of yourself, while the other person is left with only the image that you’ve presented to them.

You are essentially giving your power away for the sake of being liked. 

Every time you withhold your truth by not honouring how you really feel, or acknowledging where you stand, you are not living in the space of your highest self. 

Examine how you feel when you’re about to tell a white lie. Notice how anxious you become, how slowly you start to feel heavy and weakened.

You’ll find that your resistance to being honest has more to do with an underlying need for acceptance, which is rooted in fear.

Fear of being judged and not liked, and the fear of being rejected.

Now I’m not saying that we should go around blurting out our feelings without any consideration for another person, because that can have disastrous effects and ruin relationships.

Empowered living will require you to speak your truth so that you can ultimately live in the space of your higher self from a place of love, not fear.

Your turn: have you ever been in a situation where you found yourself being overly diplomatic only to walk away feeling totally depleted?

Or, need advice?

Share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to reply.

To honouring your highest truth and walking in your power.

With love,

Abby xo

A Vulnerable Moment Of Reflection.

Vulnerability

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling a magnetic pull to share the importance of learning to balance your energetic state of being.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what you say, or how hard you work, what matters most is how you feel on the inside.

How you feel energizes your state of being, which sends out a signal to the Universe which responds to your energetic state.

Your vibes and your presence is what communicates with the world.

I’m going to share something vulnerable with you, as I recently had a revelation in my own life about being a Type 1 Diabetic.

I realized in quiet reflection that this illness manifested itself due to an energetic imbalance that accumulated in my body throughout the earlier years of my life.

This has also been proven scientifically that energetic imbalance is a major contributor for creating a container for illness to form in the body.

As a child I struggled with expressing my emotions. I never wanted to rock the boat in my family.

I developed this survival defence mechanism that led into my adult life which helped me to become strong, resilient and self-reliant. However, it also took a toll on my body.

Diabetes has become a spiritual teacher in my life, which is ironic because I have had to learn how to balance my sugar levels in order to balance my own energy.

Instead of resisting my condition, I’ve chosen to embrace it in order to hear what messages that it has to share and use it as a means to serve my spiritual growth.

Your emotions are everything and is a major contributor and driving force to the results and quality of your life.

The key is to learn how to love and accept your emotions, feel into them and then release them as a practice.  Your goal is to become as open, free and spacious energetically as possible.

For when we don’t feel into them and spiritually bypass them with “positive think”, we bear the risk of throwing our entire energetic frequency out of alignment which in turn brings a lot of chaos and in some cases illness, depression and unfulfillment in our lives.

We must be honest with ourselves and be unapologetic about our feelings to get to the source of our pain.

For it is only through the pain and discomfort, do we get to the root cause and healing of our suffering which is usually attributed to false perception.

As consciousness is elevating at a rapid rate of acceleration more than ever before, how you feel becomes all the more important in order to keep up with the times.

If you want to shift your life and live in alignment with these Universal higher frequencies, balancing your energetic state of being on the inside is key and crucial to your well being.

Yes, balancing your energy is a game changer and really can change the trajectory of your life however, it takes work, mindfulness and of course living a healthy, lifestyle.

Being a diabetic has taught me how to check in with myself regularly, and more than ever I feel so in tune with my body, we communicate well with each other now.

I am happy to report that I am feeling fantastic in my body now and when I feel off, I know when to turn inward and move my body to re-balance my energy.

Would I like to give back Diabetes, absolutely, however, I’ve learned to manage it and in a strange way it has become a gift in my spiritual development as a whole, healthy, vibrant woman.

I hope this message brings awareness and empowers you to check in with your emotions more regularly, to honor them and tune into what they are trying to teach you in order to feel good on the inside.

Now over to you: What are your key takeaways from this message? Does this resonate with you?

Do share with the rest of the community on the blog, we’d love to hear from you!

All love,

Abby xo

Feeling Out of Alignment?

No with love

Once upon a time, I gave, and gave, and gave, until my emotional tank was on empty and my needs were neglected.

I had assigned myself the role of being a martyr, and held this role with great pride.

I was seeking approval, and to get it, I became a people pleaser. I stifled my voice, ignored my needs, and continued to wear the mask of Happy Abby.

Upon deeper introspection though, I realized that this kind of giving was not coming from a sincere and genuine place.

How did I know this?

Because I felt completely drained.

Healthy giving should not make you feel drained. It should energize you because it flows from Spirit, not from Ego.

I was not Happy Abby, but I sure could pretend to the world that I was, with big smiles, and saying the all the right things. Inside though? I felt invisible, and quietly resentful. One day my discomfort built up until I found the courage to say no, and set healthy boundaries for myself.

I learned to nurture myself, love myself, and fill myself up with divine love, instead of seeking love externally.

Now when I choose to give, it comes from a healthy, whole place, without any unconscious agenda or expectation.

And when I begin to feel depleted in any way, I listen to what my inner guidance is trying to communicate with me through specific tension I may be feeling in my body.

I know what it’s like to allow a fictitious story of the past to subconsciously govern my life, patterns, and motives. And it’s hard.

I believe in the power and purity of selflessness, however, it can be difficult to dismantle the Ego. Discerning whether your giving is coming from the Ego (in some subtle form of seeking approval), or purely from Spirit is important to your emotional well-being. You can live from the space of your higher self to demonstrate compassion, kindness, and love to all.

It is the Universal law of circulation that giving and receiving are one.

However, compassion is a full circle that starts within, and then extends outwards.

That’s why you must demonstrate compassion to yourself inwardly first, in order to work as a divine instrument of service in a healthy, pure, whole way.

Is your giving out of alignment with your Spirit? Here are 3 signs to watch out for: 

1)    You feel completely drained in the body.

What an incredible vessel that we have in the body. Your body is always communicating with you. If you find yourself constantly fatigued and exhausted, your body is trying to tell you that you need to nurture yourself a little more.

2)    You find yourself becoming quietly resentful.

This happens when you start pointing the finger and blaming others for not being appreciative. When the truth of the matter is that you are actually angry with yourself for not honouring your own needs and expressing it outwardly to others.

3)    You find yourself feeling disappointed A LOT.

Disappointment usually occurs when some expectation has not been met. Expectations can create a lot of suffering in your life if they’re not managed. When you give without expectation, it just feels good from the heart, and you’re not attached to the outcome. This isn’t a game where you play for points, this is about the purity of giving to share kindness, and to share your joy with someone else.

There is no greater feeling than to be of service to another, however, always be mindful of your motives so you know it’s coming from a pure, authentic place.

Now over to you: Do you enjoy giving with your whole heart? Or have you found yourself burnt out from ignoring your own needs?

I’d love to hear your key takeaways, and share with the rest of the community on the blog.

Or, need advice? I’d love to hear from you!

Be good to yourself givers.

Selflessness includes compassion for yourself too.

All love,

Abby xo

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