Today I want to share something personal with you about my own journey.
I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on my skin lately and I share this humbly with you all about my secret and it’s very simple.
You see, I gave up alcohol 2 years ago, and believe you me I loveeee wine.
But something spoke within me and made me aware that alcohol became a vice for me. It exacerbated certain old patterns that were no longer serving my growth.
For me, self mastery is about conquering the vices and cravings within.
Certain religious faiths describes it as the flesh/carnality, and the New Age refers to it as the ego.
We all have these vices within us that cause addictions to the visceral experiences, and our senses. This could either range from sex, drugs, alcohol, sugar, distractions etc.
When our vices take over, we become a slave to our senses and addiction happens. This takes us further away from our true selves. It’s something that I learned from my Divine Teacher, who also reaffirmed the higher calling of my life, and how it was important for me to master my vices through daily meditation and discipline.
My inner guide also showed me that in order to fulfill the spiritual call in my life, I needed to have a clean vessel. Alcohol weakened my super power and affected my ability to hear divine instruction clearly.
One of the keys to living your highest, most vibrant self is to get to know your vices. Learn to love and accept them, and then naturally, the spirit within us will emerge and take the lead.
So I decided to give up alcohol.
I can recall the day of this transformative shift in my life when I was collecting my empty wine bottles to take to the liquor store for recycling, when I saw a guy in the elevator that looked at me, puzzled.
I could hear his thoughts say, “You like to party,” and I laughed silently to myself thinking, this guy thinks I’m a lush.
Because I often see the humour of things, I shared this personal revelation and the awkward elevator moment with my father, who happens to be a cool dude, and he said “Well, the inner man has spoken.”
And that was it, I made my decision.
Fulfilling the call on my life was way too important to me, it was beyond my excuses, beyond my limitations, I was ready to live my highest self and to become a divine instrument of service.
Now I didn’t go completely cold turkey at first, reducing it to say only 5 drinks a year. (I know, I’m such a rebel!) But now I am completely off of alcohol now as I go deeper on my spiritual path, and I feel so much better from the inside out.
Plus, I have mastered this vice and no longer crave it. One down, more to go.
It’s also made a huge difference on my skin as it’s more hydrated and miraculously has taken years off of me.
My intention is to show people that we are more powerful than we think, and we that we have the willpower to master our vices.
We all have the ability to overcome our vices, my friends, and by discovering your Why, it will give you the strength to discipline yourself and choose differently.
For only when you believe in something greater than yourself do you find the willpower to be committed to a calling, and being your highest, most vibrant self.
Cheers to willpower, you can do it!
Are you the type to graciously accept a compliment or a gift? Or, are you quick to return a gesture?
Are you willing to accept help when needed? Or does your pride turn it down interpreting it as a sign of weakness?
Just how willing are you to receive?
Sometimes we go through periods in our lives where we experience a series of so many disappointments that we lose our spirit. It becomes a pathology to the point of reenacting a recurring theme in our lives to support the story we’ve created.
We then form walls in our hearts as a defence mechanism, we create an identity of being a victim in life, and end up pushing our blessings away from us.
Then there are times that so many wonderful things are happening at the same time and it becomes overwhelming, so our inner saboteur starts acting up and saying, ‘whoa, this is too much.’
Imagine; you’ve been single for a while and you meet an amazing person who showers you with so much love and affection that your inner saboteur starts finding flaws and retracting.
Or, you’ve been offered an incredible career opportunity and you start convincing yourself that you’re not qualified.
When this happens, it is revealing your internal beliefs that you are unworthy.
And until you heal these false beliefs, you will continue to sabotage your blessings on an unconscious level.
Because the reality is that you can set the most grandiose goals in life, but if your heart isn’t open or ready to receive it, it will not happen.
For an open heart creates space for everything beautiful to enter your life. It aligns itself with a higher vibrational frequency and says to the Universe, “Yes, I’m worthy.”
Become more aware of your internal beliefs. Make peace with them. Forgive them. Set the intention that you are willing to set healthier beliefs about yourself, and you will expand your heart to receive all of the wonderful blessings that life has to offer you.
Here are 3 ways that you can identify your internal beliefs:
1) How you accept a compliment:
I absolutely love giving compliments to people. In fact, I give compliments to strangers regularly, and often I observe certain awkwardness. Some people close-up completely and turn away, while others are quick to fire back a compliment without accepting it graciously. Both reactions reveal feelings of unworthiness. Observe yourself next time someone complements you, and this will reveal your internal beliefs. (Also, responding with a simple ‘thank you’ for a compliment is gracious.)
2) Your reaction when a wonderful, opportunity comes your way:
It’s perfectly normal to feel a little scared when an amazing opportunity comes your way to advance. However, over-analyzing the opportunity could really be your inner saboteur speaking out. Sometimes we use procrastination as a tool so that we can push the opportunity away from us. The next time this happens, remind yourself that you are worthy, and there’s no reason not to accept the opportunities that flow in your direction. By accepting this abundance, it prevents you from becoming stagnant.
3) When someone gives you an unexpected gift:
Clamming up, or feeling guilty about not reciprocating an unexpected gift are signs of unworthiness. When this happens, accept the gift graciously with a ‘thank you’, and leave it at that. Then at a later date, when your heart is inclined to return the gesture, go for it, because it will be coming from a more genuine place. A place of love instead of ‘just because.’
Awareness is the first step to change, and when you have the courage to lovingly face your beliefs that block you from living the life that you truly want, you can position yourself to receive all of the wonderful things that life has to offer.
Does any of this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from you!
Or, need advice?
Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts with the rest of the community on the blog and I’ll be sure to reply.
And remember, you are worthy simply because of who you are.
We toss the word authenticity around a lot nowadays, but there is so much more to it.
Authenticity is about honouring your personal truths; sometimes at the expense of pleasing others.
It’s a way of living, being the same person in public and in private, and voicing how you feel without layering it up with positivity.
For example, when you’re tired and someone asks you out to dinner, instead of making excuses, you just tell them the truth, “you know what, I’m a little tired today. How about a raincheck?”
Clear and transparent.
Honorable and loveable.
We do this at the expense of making the person uncomfortable by our honesty. But the most important thing of all is that we honour our personal truths, and our integrity.
While we all slip up at times (including myself!), it’s good to be reminded of staying true to what you stand for in all situations.
The disease to please is quite common in our society.
Why do we feel the need to do this?
I believe that it is an underlying plea for approval and acceptance.
I’m sure a lot of us could admit that we’ve been faced with having to make a choice to be brutally honest with our friends or significant others, or sugar-coating our response so we don’t hurt the person’s feelings.
Like when your friend tries on an outfit that you think is hideous, and you say, “oh it looks great girl, you are so rocking that outfit.”
Sometimes brutal honesty, when delivered harshly, can be received as downright rude and insensitive, and I’m not suggesting that we go that route for the sake of proving our point.
But, I’m more interested in why we cop out of saying it like it is nicely, as opposed to fluffing up our responses.
Here’s what I’ve discovered — deep down, we crave the need to assimilate. We allow ourselves to be uncomfortable in the name of not being perceived as a party-pooper, and slowly this becomes a habitual way of living.
When the truth of the matter is, we’re only giving people half truths. We’re not really honouring how we really feel, and on top of that we’re not revealing who we really are.
Why do we wear these masks?
Our need for connection and validation becomes so strong that we learn to stifle and sacrifice our voice as a means to be accepted.
We reveal only a teeny, weeny, bitty part of ourselves, for the sake of being acknowledged and appreciated, while the other person walks away with the image that we’ve presented.
Here’s the crux of the matter:
We unknowingly give our power away for the sake of being liked. Every time we withhold our truth by not honouring how we really feel, or where we stand, we are not living in the space of our highest selves.
Examine how you feel when you’re about to tell a white lie. Notice how anxious you become, notice how slowly you start to feel heavy and weakened.
You’ll find that your resistance to being honest has more to do with an underlying need for acceptance, rooted in fear.
Fear of being judged and not liked, and the fear of being rejected.
Now I’m not saying that we should go around blurting out our feelings without any consideration for the other person, because on the other hand, that can have disastrous effects and ruin relationships.
Empowered living will require us to speak our truth so that we can ultimately live in the space of our higher selves from a place of love, and not fear.
Now your turn; does this post resonate with you? Have you ever been in a situation where you found yourself being overly diplomatic only to walk away feeling totally depleted?
OR, need advice?
Do share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of the community on the blog, and I’ll be sure to reply.