Have you ever wondered if you exercised enough today? Drank enough water? Ate enough healthy foods? Have you ever worried if you’re a good boss, employee, mother, partner, or caregiver?
Struggling to find a balance with all of these things, and all the other fun thoughts that like to plague our minds, can turn you inside out with guilt.
Am I doing enough?
Maybe what you really need is harmony.
The constant struggle to find balance can disconnect you from your heart. And, when you fall out of alignment with your inner self, you’ll feel the strain in your life.
Seeking balance by piling on more, lends the perspective that your life is fragmented, compartmentalized.
It is this lineal perception that leads to thoughts of scarcity and self judgement.
You might often think thoughts such as, ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘I’m not doing enough’, and no matter how much you try to find that elusive balance, you’ll never truly find it.
For many years I too fell into this vicious trap of self judgement. Through further introspection I realized that, more than anything in the world, I wanted to feel connected and in integrity with my heart and soul.
Think about the moments that you felt connected to your heart. What did it feel like for you? Did you feel lighter? More clear? More at ease?
Sometimes in the quest for balance, we focus too much on the ‘outer’, and essentially go into ‘over-doing’ mode.
You will immerse yourself in all sorts of activities (I’ve been there too!), believing that in some way, it will make your life feel more in unison. But it doesn’t, it just clutters and convolutes your life because the harmony you seek is within.
When you are connected to your heart, you are in integrity with your true self and everything flows more smoothly.
There is less inner resistance, and pivoting back and forth vibrationally. Every part of you comes into agreement with single minded focus because you are connected.
Harmony is the goal.
I encourage you to invite more harmony into your life by connecting with your inner self more frequently.
Daily meditation and stillness works magic. There are many ways to tune in, find the one that brings you the most joy, peace and sense of inner fulfillment.
Does this post resonate with you?
I’d love to hear from you!
Feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of the community on the blog and I’ll be sure to Reply.
To harmonious living,
Let’s face it — it’s awkward, inconvenient, and a total vibe-killer. It can really zap the joy out of you.
However, for the sake of connection and communication, it’s necessary to clear the air on occasion.
I believe this message is quite timely and worthy of discussion since there’s been a lot of resistance in the air lately with Mercury Retrograde in full effect.
I want to change the perception of this conversation (that usually involves sweaty-palms) in such a way that makes harmony and love the intention to create mutual respect for one another.
It’s not about being right, it’s about being happy.
I believe that healthy confrontation is a life skill that is often overlooked, and needs to be developed. Relationships are everything, both in business and in life.
You’re in a meeting with a colleague, you make a recommendation and lo and behold, you get an eye-roll from the back of the room.
The meeting continues and the very same colleague throws a comment, riddled with sarcasm regarding your recommendation. And it happens again, and again until you finally drum up the courage to confront the issue.
What do you do? Do you let it go? Or, do you face the person to clear the air (sweaty palms and all)?
Miscommunication, assumptions, projections, things left unsaid, and stories, all affect cohesiveness. This is especially true in a team, partnership, friendship, relationship etc. and affects progression on an energetic level. This can often lead to grudges that end up weighing you down and ultimately throwing you out of alignment with the grace of life..
A heart and mind free of grievances will propel you forward in this life.
On that note, here are 4 Spiritual Tips For A Healthy, Confrontation:
1) Set the intention for peaceful resolve ahead of time.
Intention is everything.
If you launch in attack mode, nothing will be accomplished except fulfilling your need to be right. A healthy confrontation will require you to go in with an open mind, and maybe more importantly, an open heart, so you can actually hear what the person has to say before rushing to judgement.
2) Seek to listen, not to respond.
Your tender ego will naturally want to defend it’s own beliefs and assumptions. Try to remember that you (and your tender ego) are not on trial! However, neither is the person that you’re having the confrontation with.
Do your best to detach from the situation and look at it from their perspective. Be contemplative. Open your heart and your mind before you respond. No two people think alike, nor do they see things the same. Seek common ground, you may not necessarily agree with their position, however, stick to the objective of resolve.
3) Speak your mind.
Try phrases like:
- You know what, when you said [this], it bothered me.
- Am I reading into this, do you have an issue with something I said?
- I truly just want to understand.
Then give the other person the opportunity to respond, and listen intently to what they have to say. This is not about people-pleasing, it’s about seeking common ground.
4) Apologize and be unapologetic at the same time.
Apologize for not understanding their feelings however, don’t apologize for your position. This is not about you being swayed from your convictions or integrity. You are simply acknowledging that their feelings matter. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with the other person. It just means that you value compassion and understanding over conflict.
Please note that this is often easier said than done. However, if you can understand with your heart to approach the confrontation from a place of love and harmony, so much more can be accomplished.
After all, isn’t that what really matters in the end?
For many years, I stifled my emotions, and I became quite good at it.
My automatic response when someone asked how I was doing (when I clearly wasn’t doing well) was, “I’m ok, really I am.”
I was taught to believe that expressing my emotions was a sign of weakness, so I internalized what I felt.
I put on my reasoning cap, became overly diplomatic, and sacrificial in expressing what I truly felt. This created layers of blockages.
Does this speak to you?
While I believe that there is a wisdom in not allowing yourself to become a slave to your emotions, I also believe that you do more harm by not expressing them, or worse, suppressing them.
Your emotions are the triggers that let you know something is out of harmony within yourself. It’s something that needs to be brought to the forefront for healing.
When you suppress your emotions, it inevitably creates barriers and blockages in your heart.
You avoid facing your truth.
By not expressing your emotions, you bear the risk of becoming desensitized, less compassionate, and less empathetic.
The things that you resist, persist.
Try and think about these questions for a moment:
- How can you build healthy, authentic relationships in your life without expressing your emotions?
- How can you grow closer to someone by living behind a mask?
- How can you teach your children to become whole people by not allowing them to witness your emotions?
- How can you be a relatable leader in your life when you don’t reveal your true self?
While there will definitely be moments in your life when you can’t let it all hang out, it is a great practice to embrace the entire spectrum of emotions, even sadness, anger, etc.
You must feel these emotions, witness them, allow them to flow through you. However, you mustn’t allow them to take root, for they are only transient. They are there to make you aware of what needs to be healed.
I believe that the more in tune you become with your emotions, the more you open the door to a greater understanding of yourself.
By doing so, you will live more authentically in the space of your own true self.
Over to you: Do you have a difficult time expressing your emotions? What is it that keeps you from expressing them?
Or, need advice?
Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts and comments on the blog with the rest of the community, and I’ll be sure to reply.
Cheers to having the occasional meltdown. It really is okay.