I used to stifle my emotions and I was quite good at it.
My automatic response when someone asked how I was doing (when I clearly wasn’t doing well) was, “I’m ok, really I am.”
In fact, I got so good at holding it together in a crisis without breaking down, that it actually helped me thrive in my business and overall in my life.
I was taught to believe that expressing my emotions was a sign of weakness, so I intellectualized what I felt. I put on my reasoning cap, became overly diplomatic and sacrificial in expressing what I truly felt, which created layers of blockages.
My mind took over, but my heart was screaming for nurturing and attention.
It wasn’t until I crossed paths with an incredible Life Coach a few years back that brought this mind-centred way of thinking to my attention. It helped me to release all of the pent up energy that manifested itself in my body. Behold, the floodgates opened while I cried out all of the sadness and anger that I held deep within.
This was a pivotal point in my journey because my life started to take off in a more authentic way; a way where I no longer had to fear revealing my vulnerability; a way that I could tap into my power and strength by embracing all of me.
There is wisdom in not allowing yourself to become a slave to your emotions, but I believe that you’ll do more harm by not expressing them, or worse, suppressing them.
Your emotions are the triggers that let you know something is out of harmony within, something that needs to be brought to the forefront for healing.
When you suppress your emotions, it inevitably creates barriers and blockages in your heart.
You avoid facing your truth.
By not expressing your emotions, you bear the risk of becoming desensitized, less compassionate, and less empathetic. How you treat yourself internally will reflect your actions outwardly.
And, the things that you resist, persist.
You can use the following questions as journal prompts to work through some of your emotional blockages:
- How can you build healthy, authentic relationships in your life without expressing your emotions?
- How can you grow closer to someone by living behind a mask?
- How can you teach your children to become whole people by not allowing them to witness your emotions?
- How can you be a relatable leader in your life when you don’t reveal your true self?
I can recall an incident during President Obama’s campaigning for office, when his grandmother passed away in the middle of his speech. He openly wept, and displayed his mourning for the whole world to see.
I found this so inspiring, and exemplary; that we are all human, and that it’s okay to express what you feel.
There will always be moments in life where you can’t let it all hang out, but I think it’s high time to learn how to embrace the entire spectrum of emotions, especially sadness, anger, etc.
You must feel these emotions, witness them, allow them to flow through you. However, don’t allow them to take root, because they are only transient and there to make you more aware of what needs to be healed.
I believe that the more in tune you become with your emotions, the more you open the door to a greater understanding of yourself.
By doing so, you can live more powerfully and authentically in the space of your higher self.
Over to you: Do you have a difficult time expressing your emotions? What is it that keeps you from expressing them?
Or, need advice?
Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts and comments on the blog with the rest of the community and I’ll be sure to reply.
Cheers to having the occasional meltdown, it really is okay!
I truly don’t know anyone who doesn’t want a better life for themselves.
Nothing wrong with a little improvement, right?
We are just not meant to remain stagnant because we are infinite beings that are ever-expanding.
However, attachment can be one of the greatest hindrances to your soul’s growth.
You want to start the business that could set you free, but refuse to take the risk and dive right in.
You want to meet the partner of your dreams, but refuse to let go of the relationship that is clearly not working because you’re afraid of being alone.
Sometimes, you may unconsciously hold onto the people, and patterns that feel familiar to your old self, which contrasts with your new self, that is ready to evolve.
Letting go is hard, but sometimes that’s the very thing you need to set you free.
It creates the space you need to grow, and move forward in your life.
The truth of the matter is that your soul is not meant to remain stagnant. It’s meant to learn and evolve.
In every given moment you have the opportunity to create a new life for yourself by creating space in your mind, and to make the conscious choice to live in the present moment.
There are endless possibilities that are waiting to be released in your life.
Here are the 4 ways to tap into the possibilities available to you, to help you create the life you want:
Everyone has questioned themselves.
People experience moments when their confidence slips when setbacks occur. However, you must believe in yourself with all your heart, and know that you are worthy. Doubt and faith cannot co-exist with one another. Generate excitement about your belief in yourself, feel it as it is, talk about it in the present tense and it will happen.
2) Forgive your past.
Forgive yourself of past mistakes. Let go of the fear and the shame. Making mistakes is how you learn. Now is the time to let go of what should have happened, and start living in what is happening right now. Free yourself, free your mind, and free your heart in order to make room in your energy to allow the life you want to unfold.
3) De-clutter your stuff.
I cannot stress this enough, clutter is a form of attachment. Objects hold energy, and trigger emotions of the past. When you surround yourself in clutter, deep down you are resisting change. Your actions line up to support your unconscious beliefs and will continue to fester.
By clearing your space, you are sending a signal out to the Universe that your heart is open and ready for the life that you want.
A simple practice you can begin, to gently let go of these patterns, is to start by de-cluttering your home daily. Declare the following as you purge “I am willing to move forward in my life.” As you let go of certain objects that give you memories of your past, you will slowly renew your energy, align with the present moment and fall back into the flow of your life moving forward.
4) Remain in a state of plentitude.
Feeling good opens you up to a plethora of possibilities. Begin to feel good now in your mind, and this will raise your vibrational frequency. I know that this can be tough if you’ve got some temporary, undesirable circumstances in your life. However you can still choose to thrive and be optimistic until things change.
You’ve got to make a commitment to yourself, and a declaration to the Universe, that although you have certain desires, you choose to be your highest, most vibrant Self now, no matter what. In the wise words of Yogi Bhajan, “If you are happy, happiness wants to come to you because happiness wants to go where happiness is.”
Get your happy on!
There is nothing better than a clean slate and an open heart.
For those brave souls who are willing to create space in their lives, anything is possible!
Now over to you: In what part of your life are you willing to create space?
Or, need advice?
Let us know in the community how you’re doing so that we can support you.
So you’ve gone through an enlightening, soul enriching, inner transformation. You’ve faced yourself down, and came out on the other side, reborn. You’ve cried, journaled, prayed, and meditated your brains out. You’ve pulled out the weeds one by one for new roots to spring forth.
You’ve done the work, and it’s been hard, but also incredibly liberating.
When the windows of perception are cleared, it’s amazing what you’ll begin to see in the room of your life that, up until now, seemed so dark.
This is what consciousness is all about. It’s about being lit up and awakening from the inside.
It’s knowing the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
The parts of you that you thought were broken, the parts that you feel are messy, those are the parts that heal with unconditional love, so that you can ultimately become a whole person.
When you find your internal harmony between the yin and the yang, and the balance between your strengths and weaknesses, you can make it all work together in a whole, functional manner with total acceptance.
You know better now, you’ve seen the light and there’s no turning back!
What a relief to discover, “I am actually perfect the way I am!”
Sometimes getting to this point can feel like ground zero, and you have to learn how to live your life in a completely new way. This can be wonderful, but it can also be a little overwhelming.
It’s only natural that you’ll stumble a bit along the way, and occasionally resort to old patterns, because you’re still in the middle of the process.
The process is a beautiful place to be, because that’s where you get to create your new story!
You don’t have the weight of your past, or whatever previously held preconceived notions of who you are, but rather you are now a blank canvas, ready to be painted by all the divine and infinite possibilities available to you!
How exciting, and even a tad scary, moving into uncharted territory, but each day you take a step, surrender with a leap of faith and know you are on the right path. Love surrounds you and supports you, and you are exactly where you need to be.
You will figure this out.
Be patient and gentle with yourself, and enjoy the journey along the way.