Once upon a time, I gave, and gave, and gave, until my emotional tank was on empty and my needs were neglected.
I had assigned myself the role of being a martyr, and held this role with great pride.
I was seeking approval, and to get it, I became a people pleaser. I stifled my voice, ignored my needs, and continued to wear the mask of Happy Abby.
Upon deeper introspection though, I realized that this kind of giving was not coming from a sincere and genuine place.
How did I know this?
Because I felt completely drained.
Healthy giving should not make you feel drained. It should energize you because it flows from Spirit, not from Ego.
I was not Happy Abby, but I sure could pretend to the world that I was, with big smiles, and saying the all the right things. Inside though? I felt invisible, and quietly resentful. One day my discomfort built up until I found the courage to say no, and set healthy boundaries for myself.
I learned to nurture myself, love myself, and fill myself up with divine love, instead of seeking love externally.
Now when I choose to give, it comes from a healthy, whole place, without any unconscious agenda or expectation.
And when I begin to feel depleted in any way, I listen to what my inner guidance is trying to communicate with me through specific tension I may be feeling in my body.
I know what it’s like to allow a fictitious story of the past to subconsciously govern my life, patterns, and motives. And it’s hard.
I believe in the power and purity of selflessness, however, it can be difficult to dismantle the Ego. Discerning whether your giving is coming from the Ego (in some subtle form of seeking approval), or purely from Spirit is important to your emotional well-being. You can live from the space of your higher self to demonstrate compassion, kindness, and love to all.
It is the Universal law of circulation that giving and receiving are one.
However, compassion is a full circle that starts within, and then extends outwards.
That’s why you must demonstrate compassion to yourself inwardly first, in order to work as a divine instrument of service in a healthy, pure, whole way.
Is your giving out of alignment with your Spirit? Here are 3 signs to watch out for:
1) You feel completely drained in the body.
What an incredible vessel that we have in the body. Your body is always communicating with you. If you find yourself constantly fatigued and exhausted, your body is trying to tell you that you need to nurture yourself a little more.
2) You find yourself becoming quietly resentful.
This happens when you start pointing the finger and blaming others for not being appreciative. When the truth of the matter is that you are actually angry with yourself for not honouring your own needs and expressing it outwardly to others.
3) You find yourself feeling disappointed A LOT.
Disappointment usually occurs when some expectation has not been met. Expectations can create a lot of suffering in your life if they’re not managed. When you give without expectation, it just feels good from the heart, and you’re not attached to the outcome. This isn’t a game where you play for points, this is about the purity of giving to share kindness, and to share your joy with someone else.
There is no greater feeling than to be of service to another, however, always be mindful of your motives so you know it’s coming from a pure, authentic place.
Now over to you: Do you enjoy giving with your whole heart? Or have you found yourself burnt out from ignoring your own needs?
I’d love to hear your key takeaways, and share with the rest of the community on the blog.
Or, need advice? I’d love to hear from you!
Be good to yourself givers.
Selflessness includes compassion for yourself too.
What if I told you that you could heighten your vibrations by implementing one simple, daily practice?
Everything you need starts within your mind, with your thoughts.
Your thoughts heavily influence your emotional patterns and your energetic state of being overall.
If you want to increase your vibration?
You need to forgive your negative thoughts as a daily practice, because holding onto resentments can weigh you down energetically.
Not to mention the amount of energy wasted on replaying that grievance over and over again in your mind. This can be totally debilitating to your creativity, and especially your enjoyment of life.
And that’s just on the physical level.
On a spiritual level, this can throw you completely out of alignment because metaphysically speaking, thought becomes form.
When you harbour negative thought patterns, these will eventually manifest into an obstacle that’s a vibrational match, which can end up making your life pretty difficult.
When this happens, it can also lower your vibrational frequency by a lot.
The root of all grievances is judgement.
We are constantly judging throughout the day; on social media posts, the person in front of you at the coffee shop, your colleagues, your partner, your friends etc. This judgment follows you into sleep, and into your unconscious. This can leave you waking up tired and lethargic as your mind overworks itself, unable to completely shut itself down.
Judgement is the ego’s way of separating itself from Spirit and saying “I’m right,” — but this comes at the cost of your happiness.
By implementing a daily practice of forgiveness, you can clear your accumulated vibrational density and restore balance to your energetic state of being.
Whenever you feel the compulsion to judge, or replay a grievance in your mind, gently forgive each thought as it comes up, and set it free. It’s that simple!
Make forgiveness a daily practice and it will clear all of that dense energy, so you can feel happier, and lighter. It will also allow you to free yourself from a lot of the heaviness that’s weighing you down.
When you initially start letting go, your ego will put up a relentless fight to hang onto a grievance, or an offence, in order to separate itself from Spirit and preserve it’s ‘specialness’.
Ego will want to prove itself to be right so badly, however, the light will begin to expand, and your ego will give up the fight because love is so much easier and lighter.
When you do this, you fall back into alignment with the flow of life, and you free your heart of all that is getting in the way of you receiving good.
Do you currently harbour any hidden resentments that are weighing you down? Are you willing to release them for the sake of more joy and inner peace?
Or, need advice?
Please share your heartfelt thoughts with the rest of the community on the blog so that we can support you.
I hope this message empowers you so that you can raise your vibrational frequency.
After all, who doesn’t want to feel good?
I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day about all the struggle that’s been in the air lately.
It’s polarizing too, like hearing about both awesome things and crises at the same time. It’s like the weeds are growing together with the harvest, and there’s nothing in between.
It can really feel like a party crasher if you’re not deeply rooted.
What comes to mind is some sort of a Universal shift or transition that’s occurring once more, which is bringing up all kinds of past situations, repetitive cycles that you thought you learned and got over, but that you’re faced with yet again.
I found myself reflecting recently, and I thought that we need to be more compassionate and gentle with ourselves in order to get through this transition, as a collective, with grace.
The tragedy in Manchester, UK yesterday, with the terrorist attack where children were the casualties, innocent children that just attended a concert with their friends to laugh and have fun, reminds you of how fragile life can be.
It’s during these moments that the sensitive heart needs nurturing and self-care in order to restore balance and peace.
Here are 4 ways that you can find peace during a tumultuous time:
1) Root down and stay grounded.
When in the midst of chaos, I’ve found that sticking to some form of routine or ritual helps me feel more in control of my surroundings. Discipline can actually be a saviour until the storm passes. Find a routine that works for you and stick with it.
2) Up your spiritual practice.
Whether your spiritual practice is meditation, prayer, yoga, walking in nature etc., now is the time to step it up to stay connected to your core. This will help restore balance in your life so that you can respond to life’s challenges from a clear, rationale space.
3) Tone down watching the news.
While it’s wise to stay informed and be aware of current events, try not to get too consumed with the media. Preserve your mind, and peace, in order to put things into their proper perspective.
4) Be kind.
People are really intense and fearful, now more than ever, and one of the best things you can do is pull people into your peace and just be kind. Kindness and compassion go a long way, and it helps give faith in humanity.
Let’s use this as an opportunity to shine a bright light into the world, that each of us can walk towards making the world a better place.