There are times in life where you’ve just gotta’ sit in your mess and deal. There are moments where you have to face what’s eating you up inside, off with the positive affirmations, the armour and the facade and be where you are.
This is not a conversation about being negative, it is about being real with yourself and not resisting your truth and opportunity to heal.
If you’re going through a crappy time, you’re going through a crappy time.
When we put on a fake smile to the world and hide what’s really going on, we are rejecting our truth by covering it up with positive denial. And this is not the way to getting to the root of your cause. What it does rather, is it delays the inner wisdom hidden within you to heal your false perception and positions you to repeat your karmic patterns over and over and over again.
Who wants to go round the mountain again? Didn’t think so.
Metaphysically speaking, it is absolutely true that our thoughts become the cause and effect of our experience. However, what sets us free from our paradigms is going beyond the thought and examining it’s source; illusion.
There’s a lesson in A Course in Miracles that states:
Every thought you have contributes to truth or to illusion; either it extends the truth or it multiplies illusions.
What that means in simple terms, is that in every given moment our thoughts either stem from a perception of fear or love. There is nothing real but love. Therefore any thought other than this is a figment of our imagination.
And so if you cover up your pain with a load of fluffy affirmations hoping that your “Situation” will go away, it may for a hot minute, but it will return to you in another form and rear it’s ugly head in your life again and again and again because the lesson has not been learnt – the illusion has not been corrected.
Let’s examine a scenario for a moment shall we?
You’re on the verge of a divorce. Your partner wants it and has made it blatantly obvious by moving on with someone else, yet you don’t want to face it and continue on with your normal routine in the marriage with the hopes that it goes away.
The pain is eating you up inside, you walk with a lot of shame because your family and friends don’t know about it (which in some cases is the wise thing to do for a bit), yet you smile and try to be “happy” and that “all is well” so as to keep your spirits up hoping that it’s not really happening while prolonging your pain and suffering.
We’ve been taught as a society that truth hurts, when in reality truth is love and liberates the soul.
What hurts us actually is fear by continuing to believe and barricade ourselves in our illusions while blocking our spiritual growth.
As in the wise words of Gloria Steinem,
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off”
It is when you finally look in the mirror cry, press the repeat button and cry again is what opens the door to healing so that truth can emerge, and love can flow through you.
The answers to all of our problems lies within us and those who have the courage to look within will open the door to a brand, new world of perception full of love.
A world of possibility awaits you my friends!
Be brave. Be true.
Ok so time for a Real conversation, NO Holds Barred.
How many times in your life have you been at a social event, or a party and you’ve said to yourself, “Nice people, but just not feeling a connection?” “And….why am I here again?”
Hmmm….Judgment or a whisper of Truth perhaps?
If we’re honest with ourselves I’m sure a lot of us would agree that we’ve felt this way at some time or another. But most of the times, we force ourselves to assimilate, be kind, “overly polite”, smile, grin it and bear it, and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable all in the name of not being perceived as a “Party Pooper”.
I know this feeling all too well. I walked through life like I was on some invisible, political campaign, shaking hands and kissing babies all in the name of not trying to rock the boat. When the truth of the matter is – I truly didn’t want to be there. There I said it.
Can anyone relate?
Why do we torture ourselves with such experiences? I’ve often asked myself this question, and after deeper reflection, I came to the conclusion that somewhere deep within, we crave for belonging to be a part of something that validates us (at least we tell ourselves that), and so we put up with unfulfilling situations and people that we don’t really vibe with on an “Unconscious” mission to seek a false sense of approval.
And you wanna know what? It’s got nothing to do with the people, it has to do with you.
Here’s where the inner conflict ensues. On one hand, you try to be a good sport about it all by “fitting” in, but deep within an inner voice is telling you “get the heck out of dodge”, “run Abby, run” “I don’t like being here” but we ignore it.
We smile, say the right things, be cute, dull our sparkle, for what!?
To be acknowledged, to be a part of the club, all in the name of pleasing and impressing people that we truly don’t even vibe with. And this by the way, applies in both the personal and professional realm.
I love what author, Danielle Laporte says where she quotes:
You will restrain your magnificence. The hurt happens when we shrink.
She nails it. It’s not about the blame game here, being judgmental, highlighting differences or being “snooty” or better than. It’s about honouring your truth, preserving your energy and not dulling your sparkle to please others.
It’s about asking yourself the question “What can I learn from this person or experience?” “Am I growing or shrinking?”
This conversation is not about not loving people. You can love people, for we are a whole, collective, consciousness, but that still doesn’t mean that you stunt your growth and hang out with them.
When we choose to be somewhere that our heart tells us otherwise, we hurt ourselves in the end. We break a contract within. And, if you cannot be sincere with yourself, you cannot be sincere with others.
Here’s another dose of wisdom by Albert Camus, where he quotes:
The only way to deal with an unfree world, is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
Oh, and freedom is so “uber” liberating.
The journey inward to Authenticity and Self Awareness will take a lot of courage and grace. You will endure criticism, you’ll do the “Cha cha”, while everyone’s doing the Waltz, but in the end you will feel more at peace with yourself. You will play the game of life in the space of your “Authentic Self” and give people permission to do the same.
And so the next time you’re invited to a party and you’re not really feeling the vibe, say “Ahhh…thanks but no thanks.”
Let truth be your guide and you’ll thrive not survive.
Cheers in the name of Inner Peace, Truth & Love!
Sending huge love your way,
Plans. We all have em’ don’t we? We plan a perfect, portrait of how our lives “should” look like. All well intentioned, purposeful, well thought out, positive, hopeful, I mean why not?
But what happens when you’re “so called” plans become a bust and the laughing stock of the cosmos?
Not so funny at first isn’t it? Yup, it’s like your perfect “Selfie” pic, getting photobombed by a cosmic disturbance. Sweet!
You see, I “Get it”, boy do I ever. In fact, I’ve always been a planner my whole life. I planned, I strategized, I set “realistic” goals, even “measurable” goals; then I planned some more. In fact, I had every minute, detail all worked out. I became the practical, “Expert” of my life. I pushed – HARD.
“Make it happen” was my mantra, anxiety became my faithful companion and then – life happened.
So much so to the point that I just threw my blueprint up in the air and said “to heck with it life, you take the lead”. And so with humility in tact, I surrendered. While being dragged, kicking and screaming I might add towards a brand, new life ahead of me.
Sound familiar? I’m sure a lot of you can relate.
What’s up with our obsessive, preoccupation with planning? I’ll tell you what’s up, it’s our underlying mission to control and create a false, fortress of security and create our own Identity. To make a statement loud and clear to the Universe that “I’m in control”, “I know the outcome” and this is how it’s going down because “I” said so.
Little do we know that we were never in control anyways and that we must consult with the Big guy and work with it, not against it in order to fall into the flow with grace and ease.
Now don’t get me wrong, we are free to be, do or have whatever we want in life, absolutely! Free will reigns supreme and that’s a beautiful gift that’s been bestowed upon us.
However, one slight oversight in the contract. And that is that we must Co-create with this mysterious, greater entity for the highest good of all in order to experience true happiness, inner peace and fulfillment.
And so, I’ve come to the following conclusion.
There’s the plans that we make and then there’s the plans of the Chief architect. Openness and flexibility is the happy medium between the two. In essence, it’s called team work, oneness, consciousness, collaboration, purpose; with an ultimate intent to serve.
Come a little closer, I’ve got a secret to share “It’s not just about you.”
It’s about serving a cause greater than self that leads to a more meaningful life and using the tools you’ve been given as a gift of thanks back to life.
The beauty of it all is that life actually adores you and longs to shower you with affection if only we could loosten up a little, let go and allow it to have it’s way with us.
Ahhh! The sweet taste of surrender and the power of “I don’t know”. At first it feels like it leads us nowhere but unlocks the door to everything, restores our memory to our True identity, sense of purpose and the reason why we’re here to begin with.
And what an amazing feeling it is to awaken, restore and discover who you “Really Are”. To finally breathe in truth and exhale illusions.
To live in love, harmony and peace.
With love and hugs,