To all of the kind, loving, sensitive souls out there.
This is for the empaths, the feelers, and the psychically attuned. For those of you who have the ability to tap into and absorb another person’s emotions with ease.
You are loved, and appreciated.
However, now is the time to talk about boundaries.
If you are feeling worn down by toxic relationships, or you find that certain people in your life suck the energy right out of you, it’s probably time for you to set some healthy boundaries.
When you’re having a conversation with someone, and it starts to go down hill, ever notice how your body starts to feel heavy, anxious and tight?
Before you know it, you become it by virtue of the fact that you are in close proximity. This is just how energy works.
Compassion is the glue that holds us together, and life can certainly kick the wind out of even the best of us however, when a person chooses to wallow in self pity and victimhood?
Or continues to focus on the negative, even after a solution has been given?
It can be tremendously taxing to your spirit, joy, and well being, to the point that you need to take a nap or give yourself a pep talk after you’ve spoken with them.
It can be tough, especially when you care however, it becomes unhealthy when it begins to drain your precious life force energy.
You deserve peaceful, harmonious, uplifting relationships – we all do.
When you allow toxic relationships to thrive in your life, you become a portal for fear to enter your mind. All it takes is one seed of doubt to taint the lens of your perception, and to create fear-based, situations.
Here are 3 effective, loving Tips on how to set healthy boundaries:
1. Speak your truth.
This one is for the brave and bold souls who are willing to have those sweaty palm conversations. When you’ve hit your limit with Negative Nancy, you can say something like, “Hey Nancy, I know you’ve been having a difficult time, and my only wish for you is to be happy, but I find our conversations lately to be quite heavy and I’d like to remain optimistic.” Two things can happen, either she appreciates your sincerity in telling her how you feel, or she pulls away. If the latter, your mission is accomplished.
2. Reduce the amount of time you spend with them.
Negative Nancies and Doubting Thomases come in all forms, and sometimes they’re in your family too. In those instances, you must manage the amount of time you spend with them because severing ties altogether isn’t always practical when it comes to your family. When you start to distance yourself slowly (and that means not taking their calls or texts as frequently), they’ll either get the hint, or they’ll turn to someone else to dump on. Either way you’re off the hook.
3. Stop hanging out.
This is the point of no return. You’ve tried talking to them about your feelings and they’re just not getting it. You’ve tried to be supportive and loving but they just refuse to pull up their socks and look to the light. In the end, you need to make the best choice for you, even if that means letting go. Pray for them, send them good thoughts and allow them the grace to heal in their own manner.
People are really doing the best that they can with where they’re at.
In the wise words of Buddha, “If your compassion does not include yourself then it is not complete.”
I hope this message empowers you to set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Always remember that compassion is total, for self and for others.
Please feel free to share your heartfelt thoughts and comments with the rest of the community on the blog and I’ll be sure to reply.