I once worked with a client that had a turbulent relationship for many years.
While speaking with her, we brought up the dynamics of her parents, as this often forms our beliefs about partnership on an unconscious level.
It was revealed that her mother was overly giving to her father in the sense of martyrdom; to the point of neglecting her own needs, which often left her feeling resentful and her father stifled. Her mother had manifested in the form of her husband.
Through her inner work, she realized that this unconscious programming of her mother/father relationship dynamic had become her marriage.
It was illusionary and co-dependant in nature, and not a real, romantic partnership of two whole people, loving and supporting each other.
We often re-create and manifest these types of relationships in our lives unconsciously, out of no fault of our own due to past conditioning because it feels familiar.
This can create an unstable foundation, which is fear based, and often leads to a lot of pain and suffering because the relationship is defined by how it feeds the wounded self.
In extreme cases, this could also affect one’s health and have a spiral affect in other areas of a person’s life.
The whole person is full of love, and gives unconditionally with no hidden agenda. They love, just because. This is divine love.
When we have the courage to examine our relationships from an internal standpoint, it will reveal if our relationships are authentic and true.
Brokenness attracts co-dependant, illusionary, relationships where both people are seeking love outside of themselves.
This can often lead to unhealthy attachments that requires either healing or cord-cutting at some point in order for both individuals to learn, grow and evolve.
True love is the opposite, it wants to give wholeheartedly with no demands. There are no expectations, because each person is whole.
The relationship is equal, complements one another and ultimately integrates into divine union.
Relationships are probably one of our greatest divine assignments in life in learning how to love and accept ourselves in totality.
While there are no mistakes, only lessons in life, I believe that the key to attracting healthy relationships is by becoming whole yourself which means loving, accepting and integrating all parts of yourself.
And when two whole people come together, that’s where the magic happens.
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To loving, healthy relationships.